One crazy lady

I have just had my first driveby Faceb00k shooting, and it was a distinctly disturbing experience. First off, you know how you can buy a “gift” for a friend (it’s a little icon that costs $1 [which I believe goes to charity, although I’m not sure which] that appears on your friend’s profile page with the name of the giver somewhere nearby (unless he/she chooses to remain anonymous). Every day or so they change the gift du jour and about a week or so ago it was a bowl of Vietnamese soup, or pho, or at least an illustrated representation thereof.

I don’t do much at Faceb00k, to be honest. It’s one way to leave messages for people and it’s also a handy place to post photos. But I can’t get caught up in all the other activities like adding nonsensical applications to my profile and taking part in quizzes and surveys. It smacks too much of Myspace in that way. I hardly ever check up on what my “friends” are doing, in fact, unless I feel a burning need to do so.

In this case, I have an acquaintance who has added me, someone I apparently dated a couple of times in high school although all I remember about him is his name (even his picture [this middleaged guy] draws a blank). I don’t often exchange correspondence with him, but I noticed in the newsfeed to which all members are subjected on the home page that he had been given a gift of this pho by someone, so I left a message on his “wall” that read: Hmmm....pho..... He left me a message that read: Mmmmm....Fleckt0nes..... That was it. End of exchange.

Today in my message box was the following message:

phone who?

who do u want to phone Eric?

Okay, I admit I reacted rather immaturely here, but I was provoked by her inability to spell. I first checked on Eric’s profile, as he’s the only friend of that name I have there, and sure enough, this girl is listed as the person with whom he is in a relationship. Not only that, she doesn’t live anywhere near him, which might account for a simmering jealousy. I posted this reply (which I admit was rude):

Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you talking about?

and I then messaged Eric and told him what was going on. She promptly shot back:

nice mouth do u kiss ur kids with it.

to which I responded:

I don't know who you are or what your problem is, but please don't message me.

Her response:

ok good now do me big fav AND PISS OFF BITCH

whereupon I did what I should have done first thing and reported her to the Faceb00k authorities and blocked her from messaging me and seeing my profile.

The weird thing about all this is the physical reaction I had, a real adrenalin attack. I felt my heart start beating faster, my breathing became shallow. I really felt like I was being attacked in the same way that I would when I let the assholes in the chat room get under my skin. I seriously do not know this girl, nor do I care to. I am not interested in her boyfriend (who I think should be alerted to the fact that she’s a lunatic) at all and I don’t appreciate being called a bitch with bad spelling to boot.

And that’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all day.

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