Woo woo woo woo woo woo...

You know how you’re sitting in your house, minding your own business, and you hear someone’s alarm system go off, and you just sit there and wait until they turn it off, but they don’t, so you go to the front door and open it and look out and it sounds like it’s coming from down the street, but you can’t pinpoint the location? So, just on a whim, you go and check your own panel in the bedroom and find that, in fact, it is your alarm system which is filling the night air with its klaxon, and you didn’t realize it because the control panel wasn’t screaming at you (and you just remembered as you typed this that you had turned off the sound because during the last power outage it kept beeping incessantly at you). So you turn off the alarm, wondering what the fuck is going on, and call the central station, only to get some bimbo who can’t find your account, and when she does, she tells you that it was a panic button which had sent the message, and they don’t telephone the proprietor when that happens, just the police and then call back in 30 minutes to make sure everything is okay, and then you determine that they’ve already phoned the police who arrive promptly at your doorstep very soon thereafter to make sure that everything is all right. Of course everything is all right, you tell them, the alarm system went off on its very own, you had absolutely nothing to do with it, you and your husband were finishing supper in the kitchen, and the panic buttons are situated beside the front door and next to the bed in the master bedroom respectively. But, even so, the police are still beholden to issue you a ticket because it was a false alarm. So they do and tell you to phone your alarm company and they may be able to work something out.

And that, boys and girls, is what happened here about a half-hour ago. Fun and games. I am so sick and tired of the alarm system. We pay a fee annually to the central station and we pay several false alarm tickets as well. In the 17 years we have lived in this house, we are working on our third alarm system. The first one got fried in a lightening strike. The second one sent a message to the central station (who sent the police) that we had punched in the emergency code, the one which doesn’t start the klaxon but lets them know all is not well at that customer’s abode, so we replaced it. We have to bypass the windows because one of them has defective wiring and sends an open message when it is not (that accounted for several false alarm penalties), and now we have yet another problem. Grrrr!

I am presently headed out to belly dancing. I have bypassed the panic button. I will set the alarm system as I always do when I leave the house. Let us hope there are no further incidents.

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