We’re back.
8:17 p.m.
Having said all that, I suppose those of you who still do log in here would like to know about what transpired during my nine-day hiatus from updating. Fine. I’ll enlighten you.
On Tuesday, over a week ago, Little Princess and I took the long bus rides to Toronto. I slept on a love seat in her boyfriend’s computer room, which was barely as long as I am tall. It was comfortable enough, but the past week was infernally hot and I lay awake sweating many nights, even with a fan blowing directly on me. This was partly due to a plethora of hot flashes which were exacerbated by an overindulgence in alcohol. No, I never got drunk, but I found my daily visits to my mother to be incredibly stressful, and a beer or two, or an amaretto sour, or some other form of intoxicant, were just what I needed to take the edge off.
My mother is not in a good way. There is not an ounce of fat on her body. At one point she looked at her hands and asked what those lines were, and Little Princess (who was visiting that day) told her they were her veins. There is no subcutaneous fat to keep her warm, and she was always putting on sweaters against the air conditioning, and then pulling them off when she’d get a hot flash. Yes, my mother at age 90 is still experiencing hot flashes.
She is in a fair bit of physical pain, mostly arthritic, I would imagine. Her left shoulder has been aching due to a torn rotator cuff she sustained years ago when she had a very bad fall. It causes her to hold herself stiffly, and as a result her neck gets very sore on that side. Her knees ache, too. But the most noticeable thing is her memory. All the time I spent with her was full of me reminding her of things she had forgotten, repeatedly. At dinner with her on the second night, I was almost in tears. That was when I joined Little Princess’ knitting group and discovered a mixed drink that was like chocolate dessert and booze all rolled into one. I had two of those, then shared a chocolate mousse with my daughter.
I did have some fun, though. On the Wednesday night Little Princess and I met a previously-encountered online friend for beers, then Thursday night was the knitting group, followed by a birthday party for a graduate from our university here who is also in an accelerated Ph.D. programme at my daughter’s school (different discipline) in another bar. That was fun. There was an amazingly bad singer/guitarist performing who was joined by a magician who came to our table and did tricks for us. At one point he wanted to borrow a ring, so I gave him my puzzle ring which fell apart on him after a few sleights of hand. That was mean of me. But he was quite entertaining.
On Friday night, after a delicious supper at my mother’s residence, I went back to Little Princess’ where we were joined by some other of their friends who partied down and then crashed on the other furniture. They all left the next morning for the nation’s capital, and Little Princess and I went yarn shopping. I didn’t buy any yarn, but I did order a knitting book. I also bought a new brassiere. She bought two.
My big brother had arrived in Toronto the day before I did, so we met at my mom’s, having lunch with her, and then he would go off to do other things and I would spend the rest of the day and have dinner with her. The food at her residence is excellent, and I fear I gained weight. I suppose all the excess drinking didn’t help either. Not that I drink to excess. You know what I mean.
On Monday my brother and I took the long bus rides back to Sh’brooke together, and he has been chilling with us here. So, as you can see, I really haven’t been in a position to update. I had my laptop with me while I was away, but didn’t have the urge. Nor did I even feel like writing in the moleskine I always carry for that purpose. My mother’s deterioration left me rather depressed by the end of the day.
We spoke to her yesterday, my brother and I, and she remembered that we had been there to visit, but she did not know where I was now. Nor did she remember if I was married, or had children. My mommy is slipping away from me. I feel like Orpheus as he watched Euridice fade back into the underworld. I hate this feeling.
<~~~ * ~~~>
