In the doldrums.

I’m in a slump, boys and girls. For the past few days, because there was nothing that was forcing me to go out and do things, I didn’t, even things that needed doing at home (except for laundry, that is a neverending task, and the preparation of meals). I finished one book that I was reading, it was quite dense and took a long time, and read another in a day. The temptation is to drown myself in books, to ignore the outer world completely, just to withdraw and become totally antisocial. Alas, it’s just not that easy.

I went to bed shortly after 10 o’clock last night. Hubby was watching the m0vie Hackers on TV and I joined him briefly before having to leave, the tears of fatigue literally rolling down my cheeks. I watch TV so rarely that I don’t recognize the commericals. There is one out there for some men’s body spray, wherein this teenage boy is playing strip poker with these three incredibly hot girls in the basement. He folds, and they say that that’s all right, and start pulling off their tops, when suddenly somebody’s dad comes into the room and all mayhem breaks loose. Women have come such a long way, baby, why do these kinds of commercials perpetuating the easy/slut/bimbo stereotype persist? Yes, yes, I know it’s because they sell a product, one aimed at young men who want nothing more than to be come on to by hot chicks, but there’s still something wrong with this picture.

Anyway, once I got into bed, as so often happens, even though I was tired beyond words, I could not fall asleep. My thought processes kicked into overdrive and I started thinking about this recent business with my (ex)student and various other matters, and my adrenaline started flowing. It took a conscious effort to calm myself and try to sleep, to blank my mind so I would just stop thinking. A half-hour later the phone rang (I let Hubby take it), then just as I was starting to doze, it rang again, this time I got it because he didn’t, and it was Little Princess asking if Dad had left yet to pick her up. She’d called him a half-hour ago and he’d said he’d be there in 20 minutes. So I had to pad barefoot downstairs and ask him, and he said he was just leaving, that the m0vie was just over now, and that was that. But of course, I had to go through the calming down process all over again. Add to that the fact that I woke up at 2, 4 and 5:30 a.m. respectively before finally getting up at 7:30, and I will probably be a very sleepy girl in choir practice this afternoon.

Yes, Herr Doktor Professor has called an extra rehearsal so we can go through the whole concert today. Our show is next Saturday and Sunday (three shows, he added a matinee on Saturday) and our friend in Fine Arts made a beautiful poster, and I’m convinced it’s going to be terrible. I’m hoping I’m wrong.

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