More interactive Diaryland
6:56 p.m.
A diarist on my friends� list at the other place wrote at some length about how her in-laws and her own family tend to glorify her husband and treat her as an adjunct. She is a published author, a brilliant poet, and yet she is merely the �wife� at family gatherings. She finds this situation deplorable. I find that this is the case in my own family, as well.
My husband is an award-winning composer, and while his family is extremely proud of his accomplishments, they simply do not understand them. The fact that he can play rock and roll guitar is more laudable to them than that he has a commission from one of the world�s premiere violists to be played with two famous string orchestras. We gave them a home-burned CD recording of some of his music which is not available commercially for Christmas last year, and his relatives� favourite piece is him playing Spanish Romance on classical guitar.
No one really seems to care what I do. I have demonstrated that I am talented in any number of areas; my brother-in-law and my mother-in-law even have paintings of mine on their diningroom walls. They have heard me sing even, but no one ever asks me at family gatherings what I am doing with my own life. My mother-in-law finally cottoned on to the fact that I taught singing at and for the university. This is after 16 years of steady employment. Everything centers around me being my husband�s wife and their grandchildren/niece-nephew�s mother. It is very frustrating. Even my own mother speaks her son-in-law�s praises louder than her daughter�s.
The question I put to you fine folks is whether this is a universal occurence: The boys get the glory, the wives polish the trophies. Many of you are accomplished women in professional fields. Do you feel belittled in the wake of your husbands/brothers/sons?
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