Elgan speaks
...and her words thunder across the land

Is that a ringing in my ears, or are you glad to see me?

Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2004
12:25 p.m.
Wow, I just had a bit of excitement, the heart-pumping, adrenaline-rushing kind of excitement, and my hyperacusis got a workout like you wouldn�t believe!

My husband had left some slips in the fireplace, things like credit card receipts and documents with sensitive information that he didn�t want to put in the recycling or the garbage. When going through the recycling for the pickup this morning, I also found a pizza box which was contaminated with grease, a no-no for the green box. So I decided to burn the lot, and ended up spilling smoke into the living room because our chimney is in desperate need of a good cleaning.

Our smoke detectors are wired directly into our alarm system, and of couse the one on the main floor started screaming and the horn on the outside of the house started wailing and I had to run around and punch my code into the panel. Unfortunately, I couldn�t get the smoke detector alarm turned off, not by punching all sorts of combinations of buttons and waving a magazine at it, opening all the windows and doors and putting on the kitchen ceiling fan. I was starting to despair. The central station had already called to confirm that it was a false alarm, but I was stuck with this high-pitched banshee wail and couldn�t think or turn it off.

I telephoned my alarm guy, who wasn�t there; so I explained to his wife my problem, and she very kindly gave me his cellphone number. It took him a minute or two to figure out my problem, since he deals with so many different kinds of systems, but finally he said, �Press the FNC2 button.� That didn�t work. So I said, �What about the FNC1 button?� and he said, �Yes! Try that!� I did, and finally blessed silence descended upon my poor beleaguered ears. I do believe they are still ringing a bit, or is that the computer humming which seems awfully loud?

We had the alarm system panel changed about a year ago, and I guess he had neglected to tell me how to turn off the smoke detectors. The odour of smoke still lingers in the house, even though I have since opened all the windows and the fire has been out for quite a while. Just add to my To Do list: Call the chimney sweep.

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