Addendum

After spilling out my anxiety to my husband, I just called my mom. She seems fine, or as fine as she can be, considering the nurse gave me such a scare a couple of hours ago. Her boarder was having supper with her, at least it sounded like it, with forks scraping plates, and she was happy to hear from me. I told her about my conversation with the nurse and that she hadn’t known where Dad was. She said she still didn’t know. So I told her where he was, that his ashes are under the little spruce tree at the back of the backyard. That seemed to satisfy her.

I also asked if my brother had called, and he had, but she thought it was because she had left a message with him. I told her I’d given the nurse his number. I really don’t know who got to him first.

Anyway, I feel a little relieved, that I don’t have to hop on a bus tomorrow morning to go to her right away, but I think I should be phoning her every day nonetheless.

Oh god I hate this.

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