A brief analysis of a relationship.
10:32 p.m.
Why, do you ask? Well, you see, although my niece is a hard worker, financially independent (she has a good job which she is good at) and has bought her own house which she shares with a female friend, I have never thought she is particularly bright. At least, she isn’t academically inclined. She started a couple different college and/or university programmes and never completed them. Her high school stream was not an academically-oriented one, even though her marks were very good and she could have gone on to do a B.A. or a B.F.A. (she was rather artistically inclined at one point). But she is also very shallow and appearance conscious. She dresses advantageously and has confessed that she feels that accessories are all important. She will always, and I do mean always, wear the perfect necklace to complement her ensemble.
Last year Little Princess’ BF accompanied us on our annual pilgrimage to the July family reunion (on that occasion it was held by the same sister-in-law who hosted Thanksgiving), and he was not impressed by my niece, finding her rather ditzy, in fact, and this from a university graduate with a business degree yet. Mind you, he is dating my daughter, who will one day be a renowned astrophysicist, so I guess he’s not your run-of-the-mill business guy. But the point is that this girl does not have a lot going on that would distract her from giving her all to the man she loves.
Enter the men she loves. They are always, without exception, good looking. They could have their choice of any girl around, and so have chosen my niece, who makes for a very good accessory herself. A good-looking guy with her on his arm looks even better. But my brother-in-law and host this weekend said, “Show me a beautiful woman, and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of sleeping with her.” I promptly countered, “Gee, I hope Hubby isn’t tired of sleeping with me!” But I digress. When we try to figure out why the last boyfriend and the one before had girls on the side, the answer was always, “Because they can.” I don’t think it’s a very good answer. But it makes you wonder about the kind of guys she picks and who pick her.
One thing they all have had in common is their good looks. A handsome man can have his pick of women, especially if he’s pleasant. The previous one was really nice. He and my niece’s dad got along swimmingly. He had a huge German shepherd dog that doted on him. He was beloved by all. But there were things about him that my niece, who had been dating him for over a year, did not find out until the very end. He had been married before. This is kind of important to know. He was having trouble finding work, and was probably spongeing off her. He took advantage, and also had a girlfriend on the side. Not a nice guy after all.
My thinking is thus: If she could get past the shallow thinking that any guy she falls in love with has to be drop-dead gorgeous and instead find herself a nice nerdy guy who is not a babe magnet, she would have a lot better luck. First, he would be so incredibly grateful to her for being his girlfriend he would never look beyond her, and second, he would not be attracting unwanted attention from other beautiful women. But of course, because my niece is who she is, this will never happen.
I wish her luck with this most recent beau, but I don’t hold much hope.
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