The true story behind the headlines.
8:33 p.m.
First there's my mom, a woman of fierce intelligence and razor wit who somewhere along the line became a little old woman who repeats herself ad infinitum, whose hearing and vision are both going and who will not take part in a conversation unless she is the focus of it. All my life she has "playfully" poked fun at me, obliquely insulted me, undermined my self esteem until I wanted to scream. I finally told her a few years ago that I didn't appreciate these digs, but she has forgotten, as she does most things these days.
Second is my sister-in-law, my elder brother's wife. She is an Israeli, and I have been informed by another naturalized citizen that "vehement (though not necessarily grounded in fact) opinion-'offering' is obligatory behaviour, and basically functions just to prove that the individual is awake and in the room." She has a loud, irritating voice, and (I really hate to say this) I can't stand her Israeli accent. She cannot "um hum" in a conversation, she must put in her two cents' worth, which invariably consists of unasked-for advice.
My brother is a great guy, but his sense of humour kind of stagnated at the age of 15, and he keeps telling the same bad jokes repeatedly until I want to gag him. He also has a philosophical manner (which I call his "rabbi thing") that drives me crazy when he pulls it on store clerks. It consists of taking a very long time to exit, telling the clerk over and over again to have a good life in so many different ways.
My nephew is an interesting case. The only child of older parents, he was coddled to the point of suffocating as a tot and would not make eye contact with me for a very long time. He is now 17 and is actually quite a nice kid, but he has inherited his father's penchant for juvenile humour, and would complete everyone's remark with, "...or is it?" Buddy Boy was ready to deck him at times.
So here we have my mother and my sister-in-law getting on each others' nerves, one because of the incessant, egocentric, repetitive chatter, the other because of her unwelcome advice and strongly expressed opinions. Here am I, irritated by my brother and his laid-back attitude, my nephew and his "dun dun dun" endings, my sister-in-law with her abrasive manner and my mother because she monopolizes me. I ended up being incredibly bitchy towards the one person who was trying to make everything run smoothly, my dear, darling husband, who started to get rather upset with me for taking out my frustrations on him. The only person who didn't bug me the whole time was Buddy Boy. Although, I think I was starting to get on his nerves.
As though this volatile combination of personalities wasn't enough, I have very little control of my emotions these days, the heat was unbearable, there was no privacy, and when we were at home, I was on my feet cooking gourmet meals or waiting on people. I have also put on a fair bit of weight over the summer and feel bloated and very uncomfortable.
So, yes, it was a great visit. It was nice to see my brother, to get to know his son (at last), to include my mother in the planned activities, and to make them feel special with all my ministrations. But the best part was giving all of them big hugs at the bus station this morning and leaving to take the rental van back. And that is all you're going to get out of me on that one.
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