Non mea culpa!

I tried to be a good mother, really I did. No sugared cereals, always milk with meals, brushing of teeth afterwards, fruit juice instead of soft drinks, a dearth of desserts and an abundance of vegetables, nuts, seeds, dried legumes, brown rice, with fish occasionally thrown in for variety and omega-3 fatty acids. My kids were rarely sick, with good teeth at every checkup, and unaffected by behavioural problems (if they are, in fact, caused by chemical additives to foods).

I sent my son away (rather he left of his own accord) at the tender age of 18 to attend university in the city of my birth, which I felt was too young, but then I’m a doting mother suffering from empty-nest syndrome. His first year was spent in residence and he bought a meal plan, which basically meant he ate his dinners in fast-food restaurants conveniently placed on campus. He gained a lot of weight that year, which he lost when he went out west tree planting last summer.

This past year he lived with several other people in a house, and was responsible for preparing his own meals. That meant saving money and eating more healthfully. But my son (and my daughter, too), raised vegetarian, has gone to the dark side and eats an awful lot of meat. He likes meat. I have never nagged him about it, or made a big deal because ultimately, it is his life.

However, he is now home for the summer and I told him about an article I read in the nutrition newsletter I get every month. In brief, red meat (beef, lamb and pork) is bad for you. People who eat red meat daily are more likely to die from heart disease and high blood pressure and cancers than people who eat less than one-half hamburger or one hot dog per week. Poultry and fish are all right, the latter even beneficial. My son replied to this revelation, “But meat tastes so good!”

Today he and his father returned from a visit to the dentist. Hubby had a root canal last week and has been in incredible pain ever since. It turned out the tooth next door needs a root canal as well, and he is now taking antibiotics for the infection in his jaw. Poor guy. Buddy Boy, on the other hand, has been told that he has eight (eight!) cavities, three of which need to be filled immediately, and that his wisdom teeth must be extracted. Eight cavities!

I went upstairs to his room, pointed my finger at him, and laughed! I am the cruelest person ever. He admitted that he likes candy, he really likes soft drinks, and his dental hygiene could be better. I just laughed at him. Where did all my good training and upbringing go? He brought this on himself. I tried. I really did.

For all you parents out there, whatever happens after the age of 18 is not your fault!

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