Mommy!

I’m having a very bad feeling right now. I got a phone call earlier this evening from someone who said she was my mother’s nurse. She’s been getting visits daily from nurses who make sure she’s been taking her medication. This woman, with a very heavy accent which I didn’t try to place, said that my mother was very confused and she didn’t feel she should be alone. She was saying that she didn’t know where here husband was and that she had tenants but they weren’t home right now.

My father has been deceased since 2000 and my mother has one boarder who has a job driving buses. I do not know why she told the nurse to call me, but I gave her my brother’s number as he is the only one of us kids who lives near her. He is actually a mere 10-minute walk away.

Earlier today my mother called and spoke to Little Princess. She was totally confused, not knowing what the date was, including the year, and where we lived and exactly what Little Princess’ relationship was to her. I took the phone and had almost an exact repeat of the conversation with her, reminding her of the date, of her age, of who I was, where I lived, how many children I had, their names, who my husband was, etc. It was a little freaky, to say the least.

I was straight with her, saying that what she was 89 years old and that she’s going to be losing her memory. She said that she also feels as though every day her physical health drops a level, and then a few minutes later told me she was feeling very well. I think the latter is something she has learned by rote, and the former was more honest.

Right now I feel that I should just drop everything and go to her, but I wouldn’t be able to leave until tomorrow morning and I wouldn’t get there until the evening. I have a feeling that things are going to happen very quickly, and I don’t even want to imagine what those things are. My best option is to wait and see if my brother feels the situation is dire enough to call me. I know he won’t otherwise, which also makes me wonder if I shouldn’t just go to her. I’m so confused!

I want my mommy. This is so awful.

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