Happy birthday to a very special sweetyperson out there.

Yesterday dawned wet but soon dried up and blazed with heat. Buddy Boy navigated city traffic going to Costco, and made only one potentially fatal error trying to get onto the freeway ramp on the way back. I said, “Turn right here,” and he continued straight, confused by the markings on the road, having to stop next to the curb so as to avoid being hit by the guy behind us into whose lane we were about to move. Poor guy. I think he got pretty shaken up. After several judicious right turns and a left, we made it home unscathed, and he got a taste of highway driving as well.

I waited for the nurse from my mother’s residence to call me back, but heard nothing. Instead there was a message from my mother on the answering machine, but as I got it just when she would have been going to dinner, and as there was no response when I called her, I presume that’s where she was.

Her unhappiness depresses me. I really don’t know what to do about this. I can’t pressure Little Princess into visiting her grandmother more, and I am simply not there. As time passes, I feel that it is also running out, and I am more and more helpless with each grain of sand that flows through the glass.

Last week a document arrived in the mail from a trust company requesting further information from me (birth certificate issue date, etc.) as I am a joint owner with my mother of a rather sizable GIC bought with some of the proceeds from the sale of her house. I was able to give some of the information over the phone to a nice young man who phoned on Monday, and the rest I filled in on the form they’d provided, including a correction of my birth date and postal code.

It occurred to me, after I did some multiplication and division by three, that this GIC only accounts for half of my “share” of the proceeds of the house. My brother is the one who has made all the financial arrangements and if this particular institution had not contacted me asking for personal information, I would be completely ignorant of them. So I wrote my other brother, the one with whom I do have a good relationship, asking him if he could find out from our brother where the rest of the investments have gone since it affects him as well. As I told him it’s not that I’m greedy or even want my mother’s money, but at some time in the not too distant future, from the way things are going, I will have to deal with these documents, and I would like to know where they are. He said he would try to find out.

It’s hard to follow my friend’s advice and let my resentment and anger go. If it were just me, if I were the only one involved here, I really wouldn’t give a shit about him being an asshole. But it’s not me alone who is suffering here. His attitude towards me affects our mother as well, and that continues to anger me. Everyone I speak to about this just shakes his or her head and says, “Life is too short for this kind of bullshit.” Why doesn’t he see it that way?

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