More rain, inside and out.
10:09 p.m.
While we were there, I started unburdening myself to his conjointe about my relationship with my brother and the situation with my mother. She gave me a glass of pinot charente to soothe my shattered nerves and gave me some pretty good advice, professional advice. She said that I just have to let my brother go, that he has made it abundantly clear he wants nothing to do with me, so if I want information on my mother’s welfare, I should make my own arrangements with her caregivers. She also said that if I want to send birthday cards or Christmas letters, that’s got to be a no-strings thing, that I don’t expect anything from it. But the rest has to go.
She’s right. I have kept thinking that if I kept making it clear that I was not cutting off communication, he would someday come around, but I see now that I was wrong. For whatever reason, my brother has decided that he no longer wants to associate with me, even where our mother is concerned, so I have to respect that.
This hurts me deeply. Even though he has been a true asshole over the years, I still love my brother. We were incredible buddies growing up. I admired him, idolized him even. But hell, we all change over time, and he changed in a way that wasn’t for the better. So I live with my sorrow.
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