Twist and Shout

Today is Hubby's and my 24th wedding anniversary and, while we should be rejoicing uproariously with cake, ice cream and orgiastic sex (that will all come later, for sure), I am feeling rather melancholy right now. You see, this is also the wedding anniversary (25th) of our erstwhile closest friends, the Duke and Duchess, whom we used to celebrate with. As a foursome we explored some of the better auberges in the region: Man0ir H0vey, Auberge HatIey (now sadly burned and gone), RippIc0ve Inn, plus a variety of other excellent restaurants. Since the arrival of the "new guy" five years ago and his girlfriend/fiancee/wife (in that order), a wedge has been driven between us. What started out as professional differences has become personal. My once-best friend has chosen to side with newcomers and strangers and Hubby and I have been completely alienated now from what they consider to be their circle of friends.

Why do I say this, you ask? How do I know? Well, apart from the fact that anytime I have spoken to the Duchess in the past couple of years it has been because I have made the effort to contact her (I telephoned her on her birthday but she forgot mine, for example), Hubby called the harpsichordist with whom he is performing a recital of keyboard and guitar music in November to arrange a rehearsal, and found out that J&P had a big, blowout 25th anniversary party on the weekend AND WE WEREN'T INVITED! Everyone else was there, and I do mean everyone. Just not us. At first I thought that perhaps they thought we were away, but no, apparently the invitees had known about it for months.

So I called Vlad. She has had her own issues with P&J over the past several years, all relating to the arrival of the new couple. When I told her we hadn't been invited, she was shocked. Of course, when the Duchess got sick with cancer, she recemented her friendship with Vlad because she "needed" her (Vlad's word, not mine). Vlad is the resident expert on chigong (I have no idea how that word is spelled, to be honest, so I'm going with how it sounds), a far-eastern meditation technique which is supposed to strengthen the body's immune system, something a cancer patient would desire. Because she is also a Christian and P was desirous of reinforcing her spiritual life in her time of need, Vlad's sympathies were welcome.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to offer. I'm a godless heathen, I espouse no new-age or other exotic remedies other than eating low on the food chain and getting in a walk every now and again. I obviously wasn't sought after in the sympathy and friendship department, and even though I did call a couple of times, no effort was made on the other side to reciprocate the effort. This doesn't mean that I wasn't sick inside for my friend. I purposely stayed away from her when she was going through chemo so as not to risk infecting her with any wayward germs on my person (for which she thanked me, actually), but maybe I could have done more, telephoned more, forced the connection. Now I wonder if it would have been welcome.

So there you have it. Later today Hubby and I will get dressed up and go to our favourite Vietnamese restaurant for a low-on-the-food-chain meal (mmm, cellophane noodles!). I had wanted to get P&J a present or at least send a card. Now I'm not so disposed. My husband, though, took this news really hard last night when he heard it. He was ready to cancel the blues concert, thinking he didn't want to do anything "extra" for the department. I had to argue very convincingly that he would only be punishing me and the other musicians as well as himself if he pulled out. His colleagues didn't even go to last year's concert, so I don't think they would care one way or the other (except maybe to gloat if he did cancel). This morning he is in a better frame of mind, which is a good thing, and the show must go on.

|

<~~~ * ~~~>