Elgan speaks
...and her words thunder across the land

Another birthday bites the dust.

Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009
11:39 a.m.
I have been trying lately to be a better wife. My husband and I are dealing with my no-sex policy and have found an alternative which seems to please him, and while I can’t say I get that much out of it, at least one of us is happy and the other is happier.

Yesterday was his birthday and we have been so incredibly busy around here that I had no opportunities to plan anything fancy. Hubby often complains that he goes to great lengths to make my birthday special--and he really does--and it would be nice if I did the same for him. Last year I made a surprise party for his 50th, and despaired that I would have nothing fun this time around.

So, at the last minute, I went to Costco and bought one of their really big cakes with Bonne Fête inscribed on it (it had the biggest icing roses I have ever seen), got paper plates and plastic forks and napkins, found some sparklers at the pharmacy, and arrived at his classroom at 4:18 p.m., just as he was about to press the play button for the video of Queen’s B0hemian Rhaps0dy. I lit the sparklers (burning my finger in the process, not realizing the match flame was perilously close to my skin), one of the kids waiting in the hall for the next class opened the door for me, and walked into the classroom where all the students (about 100 of them) spontaneously broke into Happy Birthday. Apparently this was their second rendition of it, as one of the music students had led them at the beginning of the class.

While the video played, I cut the cake, and gave them all a piece as they filed out of the class. There was even a corner left for us to take to the music department where some students and a few professors were able to enjoy it. It was tasty, chocolate with a custard-like filling, but I was very glad to see it all eaten.

After this we went home, opened the presents from my parents-in-law (shirts and a sweater, very predictable), called them to thank them, and then went out to try a new Italian restaurant in town a colleague had just told us about.

Dinner was delicious. I had their house salad and a vegetarian lasagna which did not contain either mushrooms or eggplant. In fact, it was more like my own than I’ve had out before. For dessert I brought two little pieces of carrot cake I had bought at the bakery in town earlier, with candles, and sang Happy Birthday (yet again) to my Hubby, whereupon he made a wish, blew out his candles, and opened his presents.

There was a new pair of warm winter gloves, a bottle of Cragganm0re single malt scotch, an agenda for next year, and two red roses. See? I am a good wife! When we got home, I gave him his other present, a document shredder. Yes, I know, it’s not very glamourous, but we’d been talking about getting one for years.

Unfortunately, I developed very painful stomach cramps after dessert while we were still at the restaurant. I have been eating very little lately in an attempt to reduce (I’m only five feet tall [152 cm.] and my caloric needs are so tiny that I have to eat practically nothing in order to lose the weight that has been steadily mounting since the summer) and I think my tummy was not ready for the amount of food I had just put into it. I also had cramps after our meal at the auberge for Patsy’s retirement luncheon.

I ended up lying down and going to bed early and Hubby fell asleep on the couch. So it was an early night for both of us. Darn this middle age!


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