Friday morning musings

Fingers poised on keyboard, eyes glued to monitor, where else would I be right now? Sometimes I feel like I don�t really have a life, that the things I write about here are somehow less real than the actual writing thereof. Maybe it�s because in the recording they somehow take on an existence apart from my memory and enter the �literature�, if you will, just by being expressed publicly. Maybe that is what diary-keeping is all about, the need to immortalize the past, keep it from fading away so that it is indistinguishable from a dream.

I say this because every-so-often a memory from some long-ago part of my life will surface, eg. the time Monika S. and I were walking to school and a bird pooped on her head. We stopped at Karen F.�s house as we normally did to collect her on our way, and Monika was able to wash the offending spot out of her dirty-blond locks. Karen�s mother commented that being pooped on by a bird was supposed to be a sign of good luck. Now this event occurred over thirty years ago and seems more like a dream than something that actually happened. Monika got married when she was 18, had a son, divorced, and I have no idea where she is now. At least her parents still live in the same house and when I see them on occasion get updates. Karen is totally out of my life since graduating from high school.

It�s almost as though that part of my life which was so important in forming my adult character has totally disappeared. I have nothing to show for it. Just the character, and who sees that? The one person I would really like to keep in touch with from that time, who actually ended up going to the same university as I and was my maid-of-honour, has also disappeared from my life. I know where she is, I have tried to contact her, to let her know that I miss her and want to renew the old friendship, and all I receive is silence. Is she angry with me? Has she forgotten me? Is she trying to forget that part of her life? Knowing this person, I can only answer my questions in the negative, but I still wonder.

Anyway, these are some vagrant musings on a Friday morning. The weatherman promised �mostly-sunny� skies, but it is extremely overcast and looks like it is threatening rain. This afternoon/evening Hubby and I are going to a barbecue at the U in honour of those professors and other university employees who are retiring this year, and I hope the sun comes out soon.

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