Grandparents are a many-edged sword.
10:31 a.m.
It�s an absolutely glorious day, the sun is shining, there is a slightly cool breeze, and this calls for a walk. If I take a bag with me, I might be able to collect fiddleheads on the bike path if they haven�t all unfurled yet. I just love fiddleheads, and being seasonal they really are a treat. I boil them in plenty of water for ten minutes, then serve them with a little blob of butter melting into their curly goodness. Mmmmm�
My mother-in-law left me some surprises: there�s a half-bag of oven fries in the freezer and she had saved some leftover soup in a marinara jar. I thought I would serve it for supper yesterday, but asked Buddy Boy first how it was. He advised against it, and after tasting it I dumped it into a strainer and emptied the rest into the composter. She had taken a can of PC black bean soup, added a package of ramen noodles and (here�s her fatal error) the little bag of chicken bouillon powder that comes with it. Buddy Boy actually got out of eating it, since he had had a late breakfast that day and wasn�t hungry for lunch when she served it, but Little Princess forced herself, feeling that it wasn�t worth it to make a fuss over a small thing like that when Grandma and Grandpa were leaving the next day anyway. But it was pretty awful.
Grandma also left my kitchen drawers in disarray, putting things away where they don�t belong. The bowls in the cupboard were totally messed up, as were the saucepans. Is it so difficult to make a mental note of where things go? She had also been cooking meat and Hubby found where the raccoons had dug bones out of the compost pile. We never put animal waste (except spent eggshells) in the composter for exactly that reason. I have also gone crazy looking for the small stool that I use to stand on for hanging laundry. The last I saw it was on the deck beside the laundry table. The line of course was out of commission, and Grandpa had good intentions of fixing it in our absence but never actually got around to it. So where is my stool? I have looked high and low, and it is nowhere to be found.
Grandma also did laundry while we were gone, leaving the basket of clean clothes on the washing machine. When I went to put my coat in the closet I couldn�t find any hangers. She had used them all for hanging up things that I normally fold and put in the basket: a tee-shirt, jeans. She has the weirdest way of folding clothes, including towels and underwear, so of course I had to refold everything. And my shiny black tights are all snagged on the right calf, as though they were caught in velcro. That upsets me; they were expensive. The lint trap in the dryer was literally filled with unemptied lint. Little Princess told me that she was constantly reloading the dishwasher since Grandma doesn�t appreciate the fine art of economy of space and movement of water. Sigh�
I love my in-laws, I really do, and I especially appreciate that they came out here to be with our kids while we were away. It means a lot to me. But I would also appreciate it if my mother-in-law would listen a little more carefully to my instructions regarding care and feeding of my family instead of just plowing in and doing what she always does. Her response to everything is, �Don�t worry about a thing. Go and have a good time.� I certainly wasn�t worried. But it would have been nice if she at least gave the appearance of respecting my routines and paid lip service to them.
She also displayed a little �sexist� behaviour which had both my kids weirded out. The rule around here is that the kids alternate the washing up after dinner, and they are usually pretty good at keeping track of whose turn it is. On this particular occasion it was Buddy Boy�s turn, since Little Princess had done the dishes the night before. But Grandma insisted that Little Princess do them, even if it was Buddy Boy�s turn. When they told their dad about this, he stuck up for his mother, saying she must have had a reason for so doing. But I think, as do my kids, that she was just exercising her authority of loco parentis, and expressing her views that girls should do the housework.
My mother-in-law raised five children while working fulltime as a credit officer in a bank. She only has a high school education and follows her Catholic faith unquestioningly. At one time she truly believed that all her children were virgins when they married because all her grandchildren were born more than nine months after the weddings. My father-in-law left school at age 16 but, to his credit, did matriculate in night school when he was an adult. He is an even more devout Catholic than his wife. But he is in his way a lot more open minded and accepting. He lets her get away with a lot, and I remember asking him on one occasion if he ever wins an argument. He answered, �When it�s really important.�
With Little Princess attaining the age of majority this Sunday coming, I really don�t think it�s necessary to ask Grandma and Grandpa to come �babysit� them anymore. I would much rather they come so that we can host them, instead of getting less than a day�s visit in with them before we take off ourselves for distant parts. But my dear mother-in-law has a problem sharing a kitchen with another woman (unless it�s her own daughter) and is much more comfortable when we are guests in her house and she can look after us. At those times I offer to help, but I never take over. Heavens no!
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