Wherein I admit to the world at large that I am a prude.

This morning I wish to post a brief entry wherein I respond to something my good friend saucy99 brought up. When I was young and more innocent, at the tender age of 19 or so, I read a book called Open Marriage by Nena and George O�Neill in which were espoused many interesting bits of advice for a successful marriage. At that time I was actually engaged to a young man with whom I later broke up (my mother was so relieved) and while not expecting that I would actually engage in extra-marital relations, the possibility did not seem so odd. Ah youth.

The O�Neills� premise, as laid out in Open Marriage, is that we as individuals have �receptors� in our characters which match up with other people�s �transmitters�. No single person can match up all of any one individual�s receptors, and that is why we have to have relationships outside of our marriages: a friend we go to the opera with when spouse hates classical music, or conversely a basketball buddy because spouse hates sports. These are just a couple of examples and I�m sure most people can relate to carrying on with friends for that �girls night out� or �boys night in� scenario.

The problems, of course, arise when that friend is of the opposite sex. Sooner or later sexual tension will arise and will either cause a breach of wedding vows, or a breach of friendship. According to Nena and George, this shouldn�t present a problem at all, but an opportunity. Just as your friends outside your marriage enrich your personality and sense of well-being, sex outside the marriage should do the same thing, ultimately enriching the marriage relationship itself. Hence the epithet �open�.

According to another well-respected psychologist, Carl Rogers, (whose writings I adored in my early 20�s) the open marriage concept in the end does not work. It all boils down to love and the commitment one makes in a relationship. If, for example, Woman is married to Man A, but is also in a committed relationship with Man B, and Man A must relocate because his company is moving out of town, Woman must choose to keep her marriage intact, or keep her relationship with her lover intact. Inevitably someone gets hurt. Many years after the publication of their book, Nena and George publicly went on record saying that they were wrong. Open marriage does not work.

Since I have been married, I could not imagine �swinging�, not even for fun. I couldn�t imagine really having sex with a man other than my husband (I fantasize about handsome strangers all the time, but I can separate fantasy from reality, thank you), even though opportunities have arisen where I could have had a guilt-free one-night-stand. I just don�t want to, point final. That fact that there are people out there who have these kinds of activities, and flaunt them as though they are in fact social-status enhancers, makes me sick, just as it makes saucy99 ill to imagine her boyfriend screwing someone else in her presence. I admit that I am rather conservative (except in my politics) about many things, and the �sanctity� of marriage is one of them.

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