I have good news and bad news. The bad news first.

Because I work for the university under a contract that states that I teach a certain number of lessons per term, I didn�t think I would be penalized monetarily for my participation in the strike. As it turns out, I am. My most recent pay stub is exactly one week short and it will not be made up. In effect, this means that I should shortchange all my students by one lesson, but how can I do this when I have already given Em and El all theirs? Also, juries are coming up, these kids have paid extra to get singing lessons, and I feel as a responsible teacher that I cannot deliver anything less than what they contracted for.

The good news is that I received my strike pay today, which is actually more than the university penalized me by. I am actually farther ahead. So I have no qualms about delivering the rest of my lessons. And, to top it off, the strike pay is tax free. Added to that, Hubby called Georges at the symphony office, and my cheque is being processed and I should be receiving it soon. Woohoo!

My investigation into Buddhism is confusing me more than anything. Maybe odalisk can help me out here. The basic idea behind �nonself� is that we are products of five aggregates, none of which is permanent: body, sensation, intellect, mood, and consciousness. The operative concept here is �impermanence�. Then there is the very important tenet of karman, or �that which comes around goes around�, meaning that good deeds are rewarded and bad are punished. This is supposed to carry through from one incarnation to the next. If the soul or atman is impermanent, how can reincarnation occur? The argument put forth by the Buddhists is that the soul is like fire: it is always changing but it is always the same thing.

For me this is not a good enough explanation. As Hubby put it, you can�t say that �something is like something else�. That is a copout. From what I have learned, consciousness arises from neurons firing in our brains. We are electrical creatures. Once the electricity ceases to flow, as in �we die�, brain functions cease, consciousness ceases, we cease to exist. Our bodies decay and degrade into their component parts and go back into the great big pot from which life arises. It�s a very economical and ecological view of existence, don�t you know.

I do like the idea of living the �right� life, following the eight-fold path to enlightenment so that you are no longer bound by desire for earthly things which is the cause of despair. Mind you, again you have to segregate your community into the monastics actively searching for that enlightenment, and the lay community which supports them. Somehow this smacks of elitism and rubs me the wrong way. The lay community is rewarded for its efforts by receiving good karman in succeeding incarnations, but is not any farther ahead in its search for enlightenment. I think I�m tiring of this topic and must move on.

The weather is improving. It rained today and tomorrow we�re supposed to get warmth and sunshine. This is more like it. I long for the dissolution of the dirty snowbanks that still line the curbs. The river has opened up along the shoreline, but the middle is still frozen over, with huge chunks of ice pushed up in weird formations. There is still a possibility of flooding, something we worry about every year. Our own house is on high land but the university has experienced it badly enough in the past. A flood warning would necessitate the removal of all the pianos from the practice rooms in the basement of the music building. That�s a job and a half. Fortunately, it�s not mine.

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