Elgan speaks
...and her words thunder across the land

What�s a mom to do?

Sunday, Mar. 7, 2004
7:41 p.m.
The banner that appeared on the �Add an entry� page is one that I have absolutely no desire to click on. Why would any self-respecting person say �Call me what you want: slut, stuck-up, bitch�? If this is how this person views herself, I do not want to read about it, okay?

I have spent a good part of today writing up my seminar and worrying about my daughter, whom I believe has just arrived home from wherever she�s been hiding this afternoon/evening. I was typing up my invoice on the other computer and she was typing her homework on this one, and I inquired if her sniffles were due to her cold or because she was crying. It turned out to be the latter and while she was quite ready to accept a hug, she was not willing to talk about it. All I know is that it had something to do with her BF�s friend being upset with her about something. She then left the house, telling me she was going for a walk, and phoned several hours later to tell me she was at this friend�s house and would be returning home later when BF got picked up by his mom to go to his home. So complicated. Maybe she�ll talk to me and maybe she won�t. But I can�t help feeling like I�ve lost her, at least for now. She�ll come back when she grows out of this stage, like when she�s 30 maybe.

Buddy boy, on the other hand, went out to dinner last night with his fellow cast members for MacBeth, to a bring-your-own-wine Moroccan restaurant, and got rather inebriated as his supposedly older and wiser companions egged him on. He rued it this morning when he woke up with an incredible gut ache. I told him later today that parents generally don�t let their kids know about the stupid things they did when they were young because a) when they�re little, kids think their parents are gods, and b) when they are a little bit older, parents don�t want their kids to think that just because mom and dad did it, it�s a license for them to engage in the same stupid behaviour. But since between us his father and I have probably engaged in most stupid exploits possible, he shouldn�t feel that he can�t talk to us about his own. After all, knowing this, who are we to condemn? And if he needs advice, who better to give it? Son has already admitted that he�s learning much just from his sister�s mistakes. Wise words for a boy not quite 15.

A word of warning to you people with small children or kids on the way: They don�t come with owners� manuals. Once you get through Penelope Leach (an excellent book by the way, probably the best on the subject), you�re on your own.

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